Puzzles

I have done quite a bit of traveling for my work (and sometimes for fun) over the last ten years. Most of the time when I fly I try to bring along something to read and/or listen to, and sometimes I read a little faster than I planned. Thank goodness the airlines provide their "in-flight magazine" for our reading enjoyment. There are articles that highlight the features of Tulsa night life or the great restaurants of Omaha.

Sanwiched between these journalistic revelations and the various airport maps, customs form instructions, and menu of available drinks, there are a few sodoku puzzles as well as a crossword.

The magazine that I pick up always has puzzles that have been started by a previous passenger. Started, not finished. And they didn't finish because they made some mistakes. They may be close enough that the words fit in some places but the blanks in the "down" entries don't have a chance of being right. I spend some time working through the obvious errors; but there are some that I can't clean up. I don't know what they were thinking and I've only got an hour on the plane wheels-up to wheels-down. It is frustrating that I can't get the puzzle completely fixed; if only the puzzle had been blank, maybe I would have had a chance.

It's like that with H sometimes - I feel like I've been given an incomplete crossword puzzle and somebody has messed up a big chunk of it. I have to go back and try to fix the wrong words and I only have so much time, I worry that I won't be able to complete the puzzle.

You're safe...

I'll never forget one of the first nights that A was with us. Our younger daughter was throwing a tantrum (as two-year olds can do at times) and I scooped her up to remove her from the family area and take her to her room. There she could thrash about and have her tantrum while everyone else was in relative quiet.

A asked my wife "what is he going to do to her?" Given her experiences it was a reasonable fear to have.

So here we are almost four years later, A has been in our home this entire time. She has had tantrums, time outs, and we have had to restrain her from time to time. We've never given her the same experience she had from the past (OK, I will admit there are times of yelling that I'm not proud of, and certainly don't help the cause). Through all of this we tell her our job is to keep her safe.

A's outlook on the world is one of doubt and fear, because of what she has experienced. It is hard for her to believe that she has someone who loves her and looks after her, to keep her safe. And there are a lot of times that she says she wants us to go away, she wants to go back to her old house which she has fond memories of...

It reminds me of the Israelites on their trek in the desert..."At least we had food in Egypt. Have you brought us out here to die?" This same group of people had a loving God that had rescued them from bondage and it was hard for them to see that God was taking care of them.

This same God provides us freedom from bondage to Sin, yet how many times do we want to go back to our old house, how many times do we forget that God is really taking care of us. NO matter how many times we see it happen and know it to be true.

I love my family and God.

I am sorry that I am, sometimes, I am mean

but I forgive the people that hit me

I love God the best.

Sometimes you wonder if things are getting through; and sometimes you find out.

The above note was written by my five-year old daughter a few days ago after we had put her to bed. We found it taped to our bedroom door.